May 27, 2005


Fuck You In The Name Of Jesus

North Carolina sure is a happenin' place lately--after some good 'ol god-fearing Baptists creatively told the Muslims where they can get off, some other folks went back to basics and burned three crosses around town in Durham. Now, I don't wanna give the entire state a bad rap, I'm sure there are mostly level-headed folks out there. I also heard that one can find some good down-home cooking in the area.

master race hottie

Oh, shit.....

May 25, 2005


Sign O' The Times

The Bible needs to be burned. The Bible needs to be pissed upon. The Bible needs to be shat upon. The Bible needs to be spat upon. The Bible needs to be ripped to shreds. The Bible needs to be passed through a meat grinder. The Bible needs to be jerked off on. The Bible needs to be tea-bagged. The Bible needs to be puked on. The Bible needs to be hollowed out and used to hide dope. The Bible needs to be baked at 425 degrees for 30 minutes. The Bible needs to be used as toilet paper. The Bible and everyone in it can suck me off.

I don't think that the Rev. Creighton Lovelace of Danieltown Baptist Church in wonderful Forest City, North Carolina would appreciate all the things I just said about his "holy book"; however, he somehow felt the need to place this sign in front of his church:

fuck the ragheads if they don't like it

Says the good pastor, "I believe that it is a statement supporting the word of God and that it (the Bible) is above all and that any other religious book that does not teach Christ as savior and lord as the 66 books of the Bible teaches it, is wrong. I knew that whenever we decided to put that sign up that there would be people who wouldn't agree with it, and there would be some that would, and so we just have to stand up for what's right....I thought about it and I said there may be people who are offended by it but the way I look at it, Jesus told his followers that if the world hates you, don't feel bad because they hated me first. If we stand for what is right and for God's word and for Christianity then the world is going to condemn us and so right away when I got a complaint I said 'well somebody's mad, somebody's offended, so we must be doing something right.'"

You know that if someone ever put up a sign that bad-mouthed his phony religion, his phony rule book or his imaginary friend, he'd be crying persecution. Bunch of tough-talking pussies.

May 24, 2005


I'm Baaaack!

Sodfest is over and the shit lines have been replaced--now all I have to do is clear out the empty beer bottles and scrub the dried sludge off the basement floor. Today I actually read a little news and saw that the christers are having a hissy fit over alleged betrayals by moderate Republicans. It's starting to get so bad that even a few hundred xtians from "christian left" Calvin College in conservative Dutch-lousy Grand Rapids, MI signed a letter of protest criticizing regional hero Dubya (Pssst! Hey, Calvin College--if you really want to be taken seriously as a local voice of reason, you might want to think about changing your name. Just saying).

Blog alert: after a six-week hiatus, Bughouse Square has been updated. Looks like cool new shit will be forthcoming.

May 18, 2005


Scat Search

The blogging is going to be even less frequent for the next week. I have a giant, stinking hole in my basement floor where workers are replacing broken shit pipes. The entire house smells like open ass, and today the first few of six pals are coming from all around the country for the annual reunion known as Sodfest. So, gotta run--I'll leave you with one more gratuitous naughty nurse picture:

holy christ

dead dead dead

"I've got a lot of time on my hands now, and I read The Dude Minds! Whatta rack!"

May 15, 2005


The Good Old Days

Remember way back in 2003 when a lot of folks were up in arms (no pun intended) over George W. asking for a mere 87 billion dollars for the war?

I'm feeling nostalgic already:
$441 Billion Approved for Defense

May 13, 2005


Total Rape

"The United Airlines bankruptcy is a preview of what is going to happen to the Social Security system if Bush gets his way. All these years United was supposed to be paying into the retirement fund for its workers, but now is defaulting on its obligations. The same thing is happening with Social Security. For the last 30 years the baby boomers have been paying in excess Social Security into what is called a "Trust Fund" that Bush jokes is nothing more than an IOU. Our money we paid in is being doled out in tax breaks for the super rich.

Now Bush wants to take our Social Security money and give it away to his crooked stock broker buddies who are going to invest it for us and we are going to trust that it's going to be there when we retire. But as you see more companies dumping their obligations on the tax payers while protecting the investor class it's clear that putting Social Security in Bush's hands would be a huge mistake. The Republican Party is looting the retirement system."--Marc Perkel, in a letter to, 5/12/05

worse than 9/11

Judge Allows United to Drop Pension Plan

15 years down, 14 years and a day to go in my pension plan, plenty of time for me to get fucked in the ass. I guess I can always ask a currently 62-year-old relative to put in a good word for me at Wal-Mart--I'm sure that, if alive by then, she will still have to be there.

May 10, 2005


It Went Everywhere

No nurse today, so I was able to sit here and read the entire creepy transcript of "fag"-bashing Spokane, Washington mayor Jim West instant messaging a newspaper reporter posing as a (barely legal) 18-year old high school student. This would be better than the Paula Abdul-fucked-the-contestant non-story if it weren't so commonplace.....another gay Republican gets busted? Yeah, yeah, what else you got?

May 09, 2005


In, Out, Over

I'll make this quick, yesterday's nurse ratted me out for walking around too much and they sent another who they thought would convince me to keep my ass firmly planted on the couch....
stay put, you maggot

When I threw myself over a dining room chair and hastily said that yes, I needed to be punished, they brought in the big guns to make me sit still:
ok, ok, I give

So, not a lot of bitching in front of the computer today, read another article.
You Might Be A Christo-Fascist If....

May 08, 2005


That's It--We're Leaving

I was sitting on the couch the other day as usual, watching a recent episode of Real Time with Bill Maher. That night, Lt. Gov. Michael Steele (R-Maryland) was recounting a speaking gig he had in a church where Jesse Jackson had preached the week before. Steele was told by churchgoers that while Jackson was at the pulpit, he said something like how there are many more important things than gay marriage to get all bent out of shape about, and many of the congregation got up and walked out.

It seems that it's almost always conservatives (especially those with a certain imaginary friend) who get so offended by words or a movie or some other performance that they have to show everyone that THEY ARE REALLY PISSED OFF by theatrically storming out. Rather than staying and listening or watching and maybe fucking learning a thing or two, they run off holding their ears in the name of jesus or good taste or whatever. RETREAT! I thought they were supposed to be tough, not a bunch of crying, sissy ass liberals.
get back on the couch, you
Oops. New nurse just showed up, gotta go.

May 07, 2005


I'm Busy!

Uh, I was gonna say something but it's time for my sponge bath.
jesus sez it's ok
Here, read this until next time:
I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard

May 05, 2005


Mass Distraction

trust me!

Fuck yeah! I can now sit around and watch the Michael Jackson trial all I want!

May 03, 2005




The Dude Minds may be updated less frequently in the next few weeks. I just had my pus-engorged appendix removed two days ago, and the kitchen chair I employ in the "office" isn't the most comfortable thing in the world on a normal day. Since I have to spend less time online and more time on the couch (waa waa waaah), I will mostly be visiting the two sites anybody really needs, and Suicide Girls.

Cool--it's time for more shit-inhibiting pain pills!

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