March 28, 2005

 

God Told Me To Blow Up This Courthouse

religious nut case

Everyone get out your calendars or day planners or whatever and be ready with a big red marker to circle the date Terri Schiavo finally dries up like a potato chip and enters into fundy martyrdom (but into eternal damnation for being a Catholic). I am predicting right now that some act of domestic terrorism will go down on the first anniversary of her overdue demise. Many many many insane motherfuckers are pissed off, and now they are starting to turn on the Republicans, especially Jeb (another Mary-worshipper), and Florida tube-yanking judge George Greer, who just withdrew his membership from the Southern Baptist church he attended. Believe me, they are not going to let this one go.

Excuse me, I have to go stock up on duct tape now.

March 23, 2005

 

Sleep Tight

Looks like all you heartless liberals out there are going to have even more on your conscience--not only are you advocating the starvation death of Terri Schiavo (a method approved in 1999 by Texas Governor George W. Bush), you are also sending her straight to hell. In "The Schiavo Case and the Islamization of the Republican Party", Juan Cole writes,

".....the most frightening thing about the entire affair is that public figures like congressmen inserted themselves into the case in order to uphold religious strictures. The lawyer arguing against the husband let the cat out of the bag, as reported by the New York Times: 'The lawyer, David Gibbs, also said Ms. Schiavo's religious beliefs as a Roman Catholic were being infringed because Pope John Paul II has deemed it unacceptable for Catholics to refuse food and water. "We are now in a position where a court has ordered her to disobey her church and even jeopardize her eternal soul."'"


David Gibbs should know that the fundies won't be joining in on this argument, they think all Catholics are going to hell anyway.

 

Nein!

I knew it was only a matter of time. A disciple of Pharmacists For Life has turned up in Chicago. At the Osco Drug, 137 S. State St., one of them is refusing to dispense oral contraceptives. I'll bet I can go over there right now and buy a fucking wheelbarrow full of Viagra, though.

March 18, 2005

 

Persistent Vegetative State

Terry Schiavo Must Die, by The Rude Pundit.

 

Thanks, Ma!

I heard on the radio today that Barbara Bush, who never needed a nickel of Social Security and never will, went down to Florida today to stand by her boy and convince the old folks that he has only their best interests at heart. When I heard that, I immediately laughed out loud at the obvious damage control but then thought, "jesus, people really ARE that stupid".

March 08, 2005

 

Here We Go Again

Well, we just made a few thousand more enemies this week. New homemade footage was uncovered of U.S. soldiers "kicking a gravely wounded prisoner in the face and making the arm of a corpse appear to wave". In the coming years when there are reports of American POWs being mistreated, I don't want to hear anyone crying, "we're the good guys, those Arabs are terrorists and animals".

 

Shake Hands With The Devil

I'm taking a break from my bitching to inform the half dozen of you who read this that the band Devil In A Woodpile (featuring the gruff vox and washboard of pal-turned-in-law Rick "Cookin'" Sherry) released their latest record today, "In Your Lonesome Town".



When people have asked me over the years what they sound like, I always said "country blues", but here is a better description from their page on the Bloodshot Records website:

"Most white folk these days be playing 'the blues music' (you know, the hackneyed, soulless, tourist-blues with the wailing guitar solos and the watered-down Cream approach that appeals to all them rusting old hippies with their neatly trimmed pony tails and faded Canned Heat @ Monterey Pop T's - We swear to GOD, if we hear one more version of 'Sweet Home Chicago...'). Devil in a Woodpile; they play blues. They also play country. Ragtime. Hot Jazz. Hillbilly. It's all the same to them. It's all taken from the same well called American Music that existed long before wise guy marketing goons decided to categorize the whole mess."

Goddamn right.


If you are in or near Chicago, they are having a record release party this Friday 3/11 at the Hideout, 1354 W. Wabansia @10pm. Stop by, say hi and have a cold PBR.

 

I'm Your Boy, Dr. Dobson!

faithbased

I finally figured out how to do the picture thing. Now I can get a tech support job with Focus on the Family. Hot damn!

March 04, 2005

 

The Money's On The Dresser

I don't know about you, but I am getting fucking sick of hearing the supposedly lefty Chicago Public Radio tell me every day how the program I'm hearing is "made possible" by none other than Wal-Mart.....they even say something in an upbeat voice about "everyday low prices". What the bloody fuck? NPR has been grating on me for a while anyway, it's too goddamned nice and non-confrontational; plus, I CANNOT STAND the slurred, dry-mouth smacking voice of news reader Carl Kasell, who sounds as if he is always playing "chubby bunny" when he talks. I swear that fucker must have gotten the job through the ADA.

Fortunately, I heard Air America Radio is making a comeback at the end of this month--if that happens, I'm through with WBEZ except for the late night music. Drop fucking dead, Carl!


Pressure wound alert: more links added today, scroll down to whittle away more of your life online.

March 03, 2005

 

Senator, Save My Child!

More Republicans for bigger government: Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) says that he will push for legislation that will hold cable TV, along with satellite TV and radio, to the same uptight decency standards as regular broadcasts. This sits just fine with the puckered asses of the Parents Television Council who say that "the gratuitous sex, foul language, and violence on TV (along with stories and dialogue that create disdain for authority figures, patriotism, and religion) are having a negative effect on children". Both Sen. Stevens and the PTC should listen to the only sane words ever uttered by George W. Bush: "I often told parents who were complaining about content, you're the first line of responsibility: they put an off button (on) the TV for a reason. Turn it off."

Clue-by-four to parents: you CHOSE to have children--it's up to YOU, not the rest of the country, to make sure little Ashleigh and Conor are shielded from naughty words and images or subversive ideas. Fuck that it-takes-a-village bullshit; time to lie in the bed you made. Oh, all right--just this once, I'll give you a helping hand. Go and read today's post at Gone Feral for a guide to (painfully) wholesome children's programming. All I ask in return is that whenever you go out to a movie or a halfway decent restaurant, get a goddamned babysitter. Christ.

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