April 13, 2007





April 11, 2007


Fascist E-Mail Of The Week

I get one of these indignant, righteous-anger filled e-mail forwards at least two or three times a week from some boot-licking conservative moron, usually a Catholic co-worker or a born-again family member:

Fwd: An Excellent Letter

"Here's one woman who is telling it like it is...in her opinion!

(Silly, women aren't allowed to have opinions.)

Written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like this is one
pissed off lady.

(Uh oh, don't fuck with no bitches from Jersey.)

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?'

(In August 2001, did Bush read the memo "Bin Laden Determined To Strike Within U.S." or didn't he? When told in a classroom that the country was under attack, did he jump right up and get to work, or didn't he? When four commercial planes were hijacked and clearly heading for their intended targets, were U.S. military attack planes dispatched to shoot them down, or weren't they?)

'And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was "desecrated" when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.'

(You got me there. I don't give a shit about ANY religion's holy book.)

'I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for
incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.'

(Why should the bastard turn himself in? He knows we don't really want him anyway--if we did, we wouldn't have let him escape into Pakistan when thousands of Marines had him surrounded at Tora Bora and were ordered to stand down.)

'I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start
caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in
Saudi Arabia.'

(Hey, watch it--the Saudis are our FRIENDS.)

'I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off
Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed

(Wasn't he a liberal do-gooder?)

'I'll care when the cowardly so-called "insurgents" in Iraq come out and
fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in

(No hiding in mosques necessary. They have the run of the whole country, despite the recent "surge".)

'I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of
nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide

(We don't care about blowing up innocent children or civilians ["collateral damage"], why should they?)

'I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First
Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead
of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.'

(Uh, whose "first amendment liberties"? The innocent children you were just talking about? The "media"? The "mindless zealots"? You lost me.)

'In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an
Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.'

(I thought it was pretty funny when I read about wearing down an alleged terrorist with sleep deprivation, leaving the lights on and blasting heavy metal--but shit like waterboarding, mock executions, prolonged exposure to cold and heat, using attack dogs and other forms of torture crosses the line. Even if we did have the right guys.)

'When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have
been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest
assured: I don't care.'

("College-hazing"--that's exactly how Rush described it. Good job, Dittohead. Hey, if they had some of our POWs and forced them to tea bag each other, you'd be pissed about it--but, then, if they made it home, you'd shun them as "faggots".)

'When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not
to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:
I don't care.'

(If someone was that close, it would be kind of stupid to shoot the guy, since that might set off the booby trap anyway.)

'When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat,
and fed "special" food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being "mishandled," you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.'

(Your tax dollars might have been spent more wisely had we invaded the right country. Once again I agree--I don't care about his holy book either. Or yours.)

'And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled "Koran" and
other times "Quran." Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and -you guessed it: I don't


'If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your e-mail
friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this
ridiculous behavior!'

(You mean Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, etc.?)

'If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you
choose the latter, and then please don't complain when more atrocities
committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great country!'

(If you voted for Bush, then don't complain when your son or daughter or neighbor comes home in a box.)

'And may I add:

"Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a
difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem."
Ronald Reagan'

(Yeah, especially the 300+ Marines he got killed for no good reason back in 1983.)

'I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you
forward all this.

"If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a
nation gone under." also by... Ronald Reagan'

(The "Christian nation" argument is pure bullshit. The "Founding Fathers" were denounced as atheists by the Religious Right of their day for not putting any reference to "God" or "Jesus" in the U.S. Constitution........"Under God" was not in the original Pledge of Allegiance--it was inserted in 1954 after lobbying by the radical conservative Catholic group Knights of Columbus, who were paranoid about evil, godless Russian Communists overtaking the country.)

'One last thought for the day:'

(What other Limbaugh talking points are you going to parrot now?)

'In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American
sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister
Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his
Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said:

"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want
in. . . And how many want out."'

(Exactly. And I'll tell you who wants the fuck out: Halliburton and dozens of other U.S. corporations who are "moving their headquarters" offshore to avoid paying their fair share in taxes. That's patriotism and loyalty for you.)

'Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ

(Pure hearsay.)

2. The American G. I.'

(And I appreciate it, except the last 3,000+ have died in vain, for nothing, for a lie about a Saddam/ al-Queda connection and nonexistent WMDs.)

'One died for your soul,'

(Rumor has it.)

'the other for your freedom.'

(Not lately--no fault of theirs.)


(Well, as for the first guy, 2,000 years IS a long time.....as for the G.I.s--goddamn right they are forgotten, especially after losing a leg or an arm or part of their head and get stuffed into a rat and roach infested government medical facility. It's gotta be Clinton's fault somehow.)

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