November 30, 2005


Homo Go Home

The largest group of drag queens in the world has officially told queers who want to be priests that they can fuck off. In a statement titled "Instruction Concerning the Criteria for the Discernment of Vocations with Regard to Persons with Homosexual Tendencies in View of their Admission to the Seminary and to Holy Orders" (whew--try saying that all at once with cock in your mouth), the Vatican tries to convince everyone that all the problems they have had through the years with peepee-touching clergy can be solved by not admitting any more gays to seminaries.

This was parroted by the local head priest, Cardinal Francis George who said, "While every person is to be respected, men cannot be admitted to Holy Orders who 1) practice homosexuality; 2) have 'deeply rooted' homosexual tendencies; or 3) support the so-called 'gay culture.'"

Why any thinking, self-respecting human being, gay or straight, would want to be a Catholic priest (or a Catholic, for that matter) is beyond me, but this position by the church will only ensure that the sick fucks who only like little girls and boys will continue to get in while excluding good men who simply want to help people out in the way they think is right and then go home and safely enjoy some adult dick. It is beyond ludicrous to think all homosexuals are potential pedophiles, and I happily predict a whole fuckload of lawsuits if they try to enforce this shit.

i am infallible, you little fucks

"Don't worry children, I won't let those faggots in to get you. Now go see Father O'Nevertell--you can trust HIM."

November 19, 2005


On Thin Ice

When in an argument, you know you're right when the other guy can't come back with anything but "fuck you". That's all Bush and his gang of murderous assholes can say to Rep. John Murtha (D-PA). Murtha, a retired army colonel and all-around pro military guy, is saying what nearly everyone is thinking--that the MISSION IS NOT ACCOMPLISHED, every time we kill an insurgent we create a half dozen more, and we should just get the fuck out before more of the troops that we all profess to support get killed or maimed or go batshit crazy for a pack. of. fucking. lies. fuck. Christ, even hard-ass kill-'em-all vets can't stomach this shit any longer. A recent letter posted at sums it up nicely:

"I think this really sucks. I can't even get into a decent argument at the Legion bar anymore. The guys who used to praise the guy won't even have a good fight with me.....they all hate Bush now. It sucks. We used to stand on our stools screaming across the bar at each other. Now they're all 'I'm not standing up for him.' and the fight is over. They still hate Clinton, so I can get them going by mentioning him, but Dubya is a non-starter. You know the crappy poll numbers he's getting are real when I can't a good argument going in a friggin' military themed bar."

Murtha's statement that "our troops have become the primary target of the insurgency. They are united against U.S. forces and we have become a catalyst for violence. The war in a flawed policy wrapped in illusion" was met with weak red-bashing by spokesman Scott McClellan:

"Congressman Murtha is a respected veteran and politician who has a record of supporting a strong it is baffling that he is endorsing the policy positions of Michael Moore and the extreme liberal wing of the Democratic Party."

Such crap is to be expected from liar-for-hire McClellan and other Republican fucks like House Speaker Dennis Hastert who responded, "they want us to wave the white flag of surrender to the terrorists of the world". However, some spineless, whipped Democrats are also distancing themselves from Murtha's sane comments. One of them is local boy Rahm Emanuel, who said "Jack Murtha went out and spoke for Jack Murtha". What a fucking twat. When any of Rahm's hacks come around asking for my cherished registered-Democrat-city-worker vote sometime soon, I can remind them that he happily got down on his knees and licked and sucked and slobbered all over this:


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