June 30, 2005


1000 Words

So, who or what pisses YOU off the most these days?

George W. Bush?

Michael Jackson?

Hillary Clinton?

war dead
Dead U.S. soldiers?

Scott Peterson?

gay marriage
Gay marriage?


Michael Schiavo?

janet's tit
Janet Jackson's televised tit?

dead iraqis
Dead Iraqi civilians?

Ann Coulter?

Michael Moore?

Saddam Hussein?

unnamed asswipes
Funeral picketers?

Jesse Jackson?

Naked chicks?

fair fight
Abu Ghraib smackdown?

Dick Durbin?

Howard Dean?

ten commandments removal
Separation of church and state (or lack of?)


flag burning
Flag burning?

Al Franken?

seal hunt
Harp seal hunting?

xtian church
Organized religion?

Rush Limbaugh?

Marilyn Manson?

Labor unions?

James Dobson?

american idol
"American Idol"?


Karl Rove?

Western medicine?

Luxury SUVs?

Dick Cheney?

All kinds of other shit?


June 24, 2005


Steaming Update

It's fucking hot as christ roasting in hell, this room is not air conditioned, I've had about 9 beers, I have to work tomorrow and it's gonna be at least 90 degrees, so here is a short list of current shit:

Want emergency contraception, baby killer? Burn in hell--not only will your pharmacist refuse to refer you to another baby killing colleague (as mandated in Illinois), he or she just might confiscate your prescription, you dirty slut.

Speaking of medicine, it turns out the medical community thinks that black people really are different.

Got cancer? Got a sick parent or spouse? Just had a kid? FUCK YOU.

Hey, patriots--cheap U.S. flags can be found here.

Bill O'Reilly sez the "clowns" at Air America Radio should be rounded up by the FBI and put in chains.

"Dr." Bill Frist is still a a lying sack of fuck.

Jesus handjob, it's hot--time to retreat to the one cool room in the house. Fuck fuck motherfuck.

June 20, 2005


Bad Words

Looks like another benevolent U.S. corporation is setting an example for the rest of the world as a "beacon of freedom".....

June 16, 2005


Fuck Facts!

I know this has been said by many others before, but CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE if the tables were turned and the Republicans had this much shit on Bill Clinton, Al Gore or John Kerry? Holy christ on rollerskates, they would certainly be impeached, possibly jailed, and you can be shit sure that a new "Deep Throat" (instantly out and proud, no 30 year wait here) would be hailed as an American hero and patriot.

Of course, Bush, Blair, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and the rest could all appear at a press conference wearing nothing but black socks and holding quivering puppies impaled on sticks as they said over and over, "the use of military force was a last resort, progress is being made" and the faithful sheep (along with the mainstream press) would STILL give them a break, even though some Republicans such as Rep. Walter "Freedom Fries" Jones and high-ranking military officials who are actually out in Iraq are starting to publicly question the origins and future of the war. And the Democrats? Aside from a few like Rep. John Conyers and Wesley Clark, most of them are too busy lately distancing themselves from the refreshing and overdue mud-slinging of Howard Dean.

News flash: Looks like former independent candidate for governor of California and porn actor Mary Carey has turned Republican. Now that's a "values" cruise that would definitely not be underbooked:

jerk off to me, jesus boy

Don't let those right-wing stuffed shirts fool you, they all love tits and ass, ESPECIALLY the christian ones (it's something they like to "struggle" with). If Mary ever had a cruise for conservatives, you could be goddamned sure there would be a bunch of Promise Keepers sneaking on board.

June 12, 2005


No Love Boat For You

FUCK!!! I was all set to go on the Thomas More Law Center's swingin' "Battle For American Values" cruise with Bill O'Reilly:

hot hot hot

I had my big 'ol beach towel, I had my sunscreen, I had my goddamned Bible, and I had one of those glittery markers for Bill to hopefully sign it with. And then I find out that they fucking canceled it, something about "a lack of interest". I can't believe this shit! Who wouldn't want to hang with Bill in his Speedos, have a couple of drinks on the deck and talk about values and stuff?

talk dirty to me Bill

Ok, maybe one person.....but goddammit, I was ready to par-tay with Bill and maybe get some pointers on picking up chicks.

June 06, 2005


The Poison Pen

Last week Human Events Online, a news site for regressives, posted "The Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries". The selected evil titles (with handy links for each one to Amazon.com) are pretty much what one would expect, although I was mildly surprised to see the #2 book listed there. I figured that one would be in a fucking "highly recommended" list or something.

June 02, 2005


Jesus Uber Alles

burn, baby, burn
21st century swastika

Saw an alarming article that shows how badly our friends the "Dominionists" want to turn us all into drooling Jeezoids like themselves. A few of the more rabid fuckheads among them have this to say:

D. James Kennedy, founder, Coral Ridge Ministries: "Our job is to reclaim America for Christ, whatever the cost.....as the vice regents of God, we are to exercise godly dominion and influence over our neighborhoods, our schools, our government, our literature and arts, our sports arenas, our entertainment media, our news media, our scientific endeavors--in short, over every aspect and institution of human society."

Gary Cass, executive director, Reclaiming America: "The most humble Christian is more qualified for office than the best-educated pagan."

Richard Land, lobbyist, Southern Baptist Convention, on John Lennon's "Imagine": "A secular anthem [that envisions a future of] clone plantations, child sacrifice, legalized polygamy and hard-core porn." (Huh?)

And as if those wackos aren't dangerous enough, now we have Russell Johnson and Bill Lavely of the Ohio Restoration Project who are pissed at the usual suspects (abortionists, evolutionists, homos, "secularists" who have "hijacked our culture", judges "who think they are smarter than God", and American universities, "the arteries of spiritual toxic waste") and are reaching out to the faithful to create "Patriot Pastors" across the state who "will pray, inform, and equip the Christian community to be engaged in the 2006 elections." They will also be called upon to:

"Preach and inform (brainwash) their congregations on issues relevant to the Christian Community."

"Help build (demand) a network of addresses and e-mails that will equip concerned Christians to become informed 'Minutemen' of our day."

"Host (require) nonpartisan (???) voter registration drives in their churches."

"Include (issue) Voter Guides and inserts provided from Christian Coalition, American Family Association, and Center For Moral Clarity."

"Mobilize (coerce) voter participation through transportation for the elderly, childcare for young families, congregational prayer meetings for elections, praying for those candidates requesting prayer, being involved and engaged as 'salt and light' within the culture."

"Encourage (pressure) their church families to participate in Pastor Policy Briefings and regional 'God and Country Rallies' where the issues of the day are underscored and highlighted and the Judeo-Christian ethic is affirmed."

Seems like a hell of a lot of work to be doing out there in Ohio when they can just fuck with the machines like they did last year.

June 01, 2005


We're A Happy Family

Since I have a christing air mileage credit card with United Airlines, they pester me with an e-mail every other day or so to let me know how I can fly cheap to Berlin or Atlanta or some other fucking place I'm not going to visit anytime soon. Yesterday, though, I got a very different e-mail. Seems they want to assure me that it's hugs all around now with those greedy unions representing their machinists and mechanics:

"Dear Jeff,

This week United is pleased to share two important announcements with you. The members of the Aircraft Mechanics Fraternal Association (AMFA) ratified their tentative agreement. Also, following a constant, good faith engagement, United and the International Association of Machinists (IAM) reached an agreement in principle. Together these actions set the stage for the completion of our restructuring and the ability to offer you the very best of service for years to come.

As always, our employees continue to deliver exceptional service. That's why United ranked #1 in on-time arrivals of the seven major U.S. carriers during the past 12 months ending March 2005, as measured by the U.S. Department of Transportation in their most recent report.

Thank you for flying United. We appreciate your business and look forward to wecoming you aboard soon."

Thanks for taking it dry in the ass with a smile, machinists and mechanics--I thought I was going to get fucked out of my free bag of pretzels on the next flight.

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