June 01, 2005


We're A Happy Family

Since I have a christing air mileage credit card with United Airlines, they pester me with an e-mail every other day or so to let me know how I can fly cheap to Berlin or Atlanta or some other fucking place I'm not going to visit anytime soon. Yesterday, though, I got a very different e-mail. Seems they want to assure me that it's hugs all around now with those greedy unions representing their machinists and mechanics:

"Dear Jeff,

This week United is pleased to share two important announcements with you. The members of the Aircraft Mechanics Fraternal Association (AMFA) ratified their tentative agreement. Also, following a constant, good faith engagement, United and the International Association of Machinists (IAM) reached an agreement in principle. Together these actions set the stage for the completion of our restructuring and the ability to offer you the very best of service for years to come.

As always, our employees continue to deliver exceptional service. That's why United ranked #1 in on-time arrivals of the seven major U.S. carriers during the past 12 months ending March 2005, as measured by the U.S. Department of Transportation in their most recent report.

Thank you for flying United. We appreciate your business and look forward to wecoming you aboard soon."

Thanks for taking it dry in the ass with a smile, machinists and mechanics--I thought I was going to get fucked out of my free bag of pretzels on the next flight.

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