October 21, 2005


Info Overload

Yeah, it's been a while since I posted. I'm sure all three of you are sick of seeing the same non-working post from 12 days ago.....it's not like there's nothing to talk about--hell, all kinds of juicy shit is happening lately, like can you fucking believe someone like Tom DeLay was forced to go to a puny-ass COUNTY JAIL and be booked, fingerprinted and photographed with this soon-to-be-gone shit eating grin on his face?

buh bye

The halls of the Capitol would have been running with gallons of spooge if the regressives had been able to do that to Clinton.

The other big news story is rumors of Cheney stepping down when it is found out that he had a helping hand in the whole Rove/ Wilson/ Plame/ Miller/ Novak/ Libby scandal. Lotsa republican underlings are saving their asses and ratting everyone out, stay tuned for more I-told-you-so indictments next week.

"Unka Dick-is it true? Are we all going to jail? Will I have to blow a whole bunch of fellas?"

(Thanks to Bartcop for making me almost snort beer through my nose on that one.)

Anyway, lately when I read all this shit I have to remind myself that I don't have to write some long manifesto about it, just a link and a few smart-ass comments will keep me updating more often--and it might double my readership to six.

P.S.--I don't know how to fix the problem with the images from the last post, but here is a step-by-step thing to do for all of you PC users who yearn to see them:

1. Right-click the missing image and go to "Properties".
2. Highlight the URL, right-click it and go to "Copy".
3. Right-click your browser window and go to "Paste".
4. Hit the "Enter" key, the image should appear.
5. Go back to the blog page, and there it is!
6. Do this 80+ times.

I've been doing some reading, and I swear to christ, I'm getting a Mac soon.

October 09, 2005


Cum All Ye Faithful

This is the day,1saved sinners! I'm talking2to all you strong men of christ3out there,4you Promise Keepers,5you spiritual6leaders7of households--8it's time9to get up! Shit, shower, shave10and make sure11you have a good hearty breakfast,12because today13you have to14stand in front15of your pastor,16your fellow church-goers,17your wife18and your young children19and admit to20surfing,21viewing,22purchasing,23downloading,24hiding,25and jacking off26over27and over again28to pictures of29tits, ass,30pussies, cocks31(come on, don't deny it),32legs, feet,33all of it34(my fucking god, it's amazing you had enough spunk left over to make those five kids, let alone meet the needs of your sweet liitle christian closet freak wife--trust me, she is).35That's right, today is National Porn Sunday, and evangelicals36like yourself are gathering37in churches across the land38to out themselves39and admit their "dirty40little secret".

It's all over now, pal.41This is it for you.42No more copies of Juggs or Hometown Girls43hidden in the garage.44No more sneaking down45to the computer in the basement46at 3 AM to visit Busty Asians or Former Girlfriends. You and the other men in your church47have to make a choice--to either serve and obey god and jesus48and be a good husband and father,49or continue in your secret double life of sin,50sneaking around peeking at tits, ass, pussies and cocks.51Today is the day you get it all out in the open.52Today is the day you make a new start.53Today is the day you ask jesus for forgiveness.54Today is the day you admit your addiction to porn and renounce it forver!!!

Well, maybe for a few months, anyway.55After all, you ARE a man.56You were hard-wired this way.57Hey, you've been good all winter--no magazines, no websites,58no jerking off even to the many images59tucked away in your brain.60But fast forward to spring, and with the warm weather, women are shedding61their heavy winter coats and sweaters62and starting to show more skin.63You see them everywhere on the way to and from work,64and on the train one day you see a woman65in a tight shirt and short skirt sitting across from you.66You instantly imagine her sucking you off in the church boiler room,67but just as fast you look away and pray68to god for strength. But, fuck, man, they're everywhere.69You start to notice the models in the clothing ads in the Sunday paper.70The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue appears in the office break room.71You turn on the TV to watch a boxing match,72but the first thing you see73is women's beach volleyball. Your wife,74who has been having a good old time75since you started paying a little attention to her,76starts getting the Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail.77You take your kids to the pool,78and you can't help but see79the hot, 22 year old lifeguard80and her friends. FUCK FUCK FUCK!81Once again you pray,82pray to god to deliver you from sin,83but goddammit, you ARE a man......

See you in line soon at the 7-11, you beatoff. And jesus will too.


I am happy to announce that after this glorious day of healing, every Sunday from now on will be Porn Sunday here at The Dude Minds. Praise the lord!

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