March 03, 2005

 

Senator, Save My Child!

More Republicans for bigger government: Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) says that he will push for legislation that will hold cable TV, along with satellite TV and radio, to the same uptight decency standards as regular broadcasts. This sits just fine with the puckered asses of the Parents Television Council who say that "the gratuitous sex, foul language, and violence on TV (along with stories and dialogue that create disdain for authority figures, patriotism, and religion) are having a negative effect on children". Both Sen. Stevens and the PTC should listen to the only sane words ever uttered by George W. Bush: "I often told parents who were complaining about content, you're the first line of responsibility: they put an off button (on) the TV for a reason. Turn it off."

Clue-by-four to parents: you CHOSE to have children--it's up to YOU, not the rest of the country, to make sure little Ashleigh and Conor are shielded from naughty words and images or subversive ideas. Fuck that it-takes-a-village bullshit; time to lie in the bed you made. Oh, all right--just this once, I'll give you a helping hand. Go and read today's post at Gone Feral for a guide to (painfully) wholesome children's programming. All I ask in return is that whenever you go out to a movie or a halfway decent restaurant, get a goddamned babysitter. Christ.

Comments:
Maybe it's YOU who should remain home, away from movies and restaurants, you CHILDLESS FUCK!!!!
 
Hey, Jeff.

Just in case you've caught me trolling at your friends' blogs, you've probably figured by now that me and the Mrs. are likely gonna have our own hellspawn later this year. If so, this begs the question: are there really any movies good enough for us to want to drag an infant/toddler out to the multiplex? I don't even want to bother with the theater myself, much less drag a young'un. Sure, the screen is big and the sound might be good, but I can't raise up a cheek and blow a good rim-rockin' fart at Landmark; it violates some kind of rule there or something. I'm free to do it at home, though. My wife and the dog don't care; the cat gets offended, but he's offended by anything that doesn't involve him getting a snack.

Anyway, we have discovered the joys of Netflix. Since the special-effects blockbusters are usually offensively brain-dead anyway, we don't feel we're missing much by waiting for the DVD releases of the movies we think are worth watching (they usually translate well to the small screen).
 
So, you've decided to reproduce too, eh? Have fun. I rarely go to the theater myself, usually about once a year, if that (however, last year I had to run right out and see "Fahrenheit 9/11" and "End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones"). My indifference to moviegoing is pure heresy to my friend Steve, who used to go 2-3 times a week before he had kids.
 
Movies! Great idea. Jeff, are you available for sitting this weekend?

Netflix is a MUST for new parents. I've also heard that the theater down by the Newberry has a matinee just for parents and kids. But for me, the hassle of getting them dressed, changed, fed and out of the door - not to mention the fussing that's likely to ensure throughout the picture - makes taking the kids just not worth it.

Soo...Netflix. Or get Jeff to sit for you.
 
Wow, you sure riled Billy Sunday. I bet he wrote that comment with a 4 year old watching. And that doesn't even take into account that vast band of 7 year olds like me reading random blog comments, who have been forever damaged by that kind of langauge.
 
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