March 03, 2005
Clue-by-four to parents: you CHOSE to have children--it's up to YOU, not the rest of the country, to make sure little Ashleigh and Conor are shielded from naughty words and images or subversive ideas. Fuck that it-takes-a-village bullshit; time to lie in the bed you made. Oh, all right--just this once, I'll give you a helping hand. Go and read today's post at Gone Feral for a guide to (painfully) wholesome children's programming. All I ask in return is that whenever you go out to a movie or a halfway decent restaurant, get a goddamned babysitter. Christ.
Just in case you've caught me trolling at your friends' blogs, you've probably figured by now that me and the Mrs. are likely gonna have our own hellspawn later this year. If so, this begs the question: are there really any movies good enough for us to want to drag an infant/toddler out to the multiplex? I don't even want to bother with the theater myself, much less drag a young'un. Sure, the screen is big and the sound might be good, but I can't raise up a cheek and blow a good rim-rockin' fart at Landmark; it violates some kind of rule there or something. I'm free to do it at home, though. My wife and the dog don't care; the cat gets offended, but he's offended by anything that doesn't involve him getting a snack.
Anyway, we have discovered the joys of Netflix. Since the special-effects blockbusters are usually offensively brain-dead anyway, we don't feel we're missing much by waiting for the DVD releases of the movies we think are worth watching (they usually translate well to the small screen).
Netflix is a MUST for new parents. I've also heard that the theater down by the Newberry has a matinee just for parents and kids. But for me, the hassle of getting them dressed, changed, fed and out of the door - not to mention the fussing that's likely to ensure throughout the picture - makes taking the kids just not worth it.
Soo...Netflix. Or get Jeff to sit for you.