October 21, 2005
Info Overload
Yeah, it's been a while since I posted. I'm sure all three of you are sick of seeing the same non-working post from 12 days ago.....it's not like there's nothing to talk about--hell, all kinds of juicy shit is happening lately, like can you fucking believe someone like Tom DeLay was forced to go to a puny-ass COUNTY JAIL and be booked, fingerprinted and photographed with this soon-to-be-gone shit eating grin on his face?
The halls of the Capitol would have been running with gallons of spooge if the regressives had been able to do that to Clinton.
The other big news story is rumors of Cheney stepping down when it is found out that he had a helping hand in the whole Rove/ Wilson/ Plame/ Miller/ Novak/ Libby scandal. Lotsa republican underlings are saving their asses and ratting everyone out, stay tuned for more I-told-you-so indictments next week.
"Unka Dick-is it true? Are we all going to jail? Will I have to blow a whole bunch of fellas?"
(Thanks to Bartcop for making me almost snort beer through my nose on that one.)
Anyway, lately when I read all this shit I have to remind myself that I don't have to write some long manifesto about it, just a link and a few smart-ass comments will keep me updating more often--and it might double my readership to six.
P.S.--I don't know how to fix the problem with the images from the last post, but here is a step-by-step thing to do for all of you PC users who yearn to see them:
1. Right-click the missing image and go to "Properties".
2. Highlight the URL, right-click it and go to "Copy".
3. Right-click your browser window and go to "Paste".
4. Hit the "Enter" key, the image should appear.
5. Go back to the blog page, and there it is!
6. Do this 80+ times.
I've been doing some reading, and I swear to christ, I'm getting a Mac soon.
The halls of the Capitol would have been running with gallons of spooge if the regressives had been able to do that to Clinton.
The other big news story is rumors of Cheney stepping down when it is found out that he had a helping hand in the whole Rove/ Wilson/ Plame/ Miller/ Novak/ Libby scandal. Lotsa republican underlings are saving their asses and ratting everyone out, stay tuned for more I-told-you-so indictments next week.
"Unka Dick-is it true? Are we all going to jail? Will I have to blow a whole bunch of fellas?"
(Thanks to Bartcop for making me almost snort beer through my nose on that one.)
Anyway, lately when I read all this shit I have to remind myself that I don't have to write some long manifesto about it, just a link and a few smart-ass comments will keep me updating more often--and it might double my readership to six.
P.S.--I don't know how to fix the problem with the images from the last post, but here is a step-by-step thing to do for all of you PC users who yearn to see them:
1. Right-click the missing image and go to "Properties".
2. Highlight the URL, right-click it and go to "Copy".
3. Right-click your browser window and go to "Paste".
4. Hit the "Enter" key, the image should appear.
5. Go back to the blog page, and there it is!
6. Do this 80+ times.
I've been doing some reading, and I swear to christ, I'm getting a Mac soon.
October 09, 2005
Cum All Ye Faithful
This is the day,
saved sinners! I'm talking
to all you strong men of christ
out there,
you Promise Keepers,
you spiritual
leaders
of households--
it's time
to get up! Shit, shower, shave
and make sure
you have a good hearty breakfast,
because today
you have to
stand in front
of your pastor,
your fellow church-goers,
your wife
and your young children
and admit to
surfing,
viewing,
purchasing,
downloading,
hiding,
and jacking off
over
and over again
to pictures of
tits, ass,
pussies, cocks
(come on, don't deny it),
legs, feet,
all of it
(my fucking god, it's amazing you had enough spunk left over to make those five kids, let alone meet the needs of your sweet liitle christian closet freak wife--trust me, she is).
That's right, today is National Porn Sunday, and evangelicals
like yourself are gathering
in churches across the land
to out themselves
and admit their "dirty
little secret".
It's all over now, pal.
This is it for you.
No more copies of Juggs or Hometown Girls
hidden in the garage.
No more sneaking down
to the computer in the basement
at 3 AM to visit Busty Asians or Former Girlfriends. You and the other men in your church
have to make a choice--to either serve and obey god and jesus
and be a good husband and father,
or continue in your secret double life of sin,
sneaking around peeking at tits, ass, pussies and cocks.
Today is the day you get it all out in the open.
Today is the day you make a new start.
Today is the day you ask jesus for forgiveness.
Today is the day you admit your addiction to porn and renounce it forver!!!
Well, maybe for a few months, anyway.
After all, you ARE a man.
You were hard-wired this way.
Hey, you've been good all winter--no magazines, no websites,
no jerking off even to the many images
tucked away in your brain.
But fast forward to spring, and with the warm weather, women are shedding
their heavy winter coats and sweaters
and starting to show more skin.
You see them everywhere on the way to and from work,
and on the train one day you see a woman
in a tight shirt and short skirt sitting across from you.
You instantly imagine her sucking you off in the church boiler room,
but just as fast you look away and pray
to god for strength. But, fuck, man, they're everywhere.
You start to notice the models in the clothing ads in the Sunday paper.
The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue appears in the office break room.
You turn on the TV to watch a boxing match,
but the first thing you see
is women's beach volleyball. Your wife,
who has been having a good old time
since you started paying a little attention to her,
starts getting the Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail.
You take your kids to the pool,
and you can't help but see
the hot, 22 year old lifeguard
and her friends. FUCK FUCK FUCK!
Once again you pray,
pray to god to deliver you from sin,
but goddammit, you ARE a man......
See you in line soon at the 7-11, you beatoff. And jesus will too.
I am happy to announce that after this glorious day of healing, every Sunday from now on will be Porn Sunday here at The Dude Minds. Praise the lord!
saved sinners! I'm talkingto all you strong men of christout there,you Promise Keepers,you spiritualleadersof households--it's timeto get up! Shit, shower, shaveand make sureyou have a good hearty breakfast,because todayyou have tostand in frontof your pastor,your fellow church-goers,your wifeand your young childrenand admit tosurfing,viewing,purchasing,downloading,hiding,and jacking offoverand over againto pictures oftits, ass,pussies, cocks(come on, don't deny it),legs, feet,all of it(my fucking god, it's amazing you had enough spunk left over to make those five kids, let alone meet the needs of your sweet liitle christian closet freak wife--trust me, she is).That's right, today is National Porn Sunday, and evangelicalslike yourself are gatheringin churches across the landto out themselvesand admit their "dirtylittle secret". It's all over now, pal.
This is it for you.No more copies of Juggs or Hometown Girlshidden in the garage.No more sneaking downto the computer in the basementat 3 AM to visit Busty Asians or Former Girlfriends. You and the other men in your churchhave to make a choice--to either serve and obey god and jesusand be a good husband and father,or continue in your secret double life of sin,sneaking around peeking at tits, ass, pussies and cocks.Today is the day you get it all out in the open.Today is the day you make a new start.Today is the day you ask jesus for forgiveness.Today is the day you admit your addiction to porn and renounce it forver!!!Well, maybe for a few months, anyway.
After all, you ARE a man.You were hard-wired this way.Hey, you've been good all winter--no magazines, no websites,no jerking off even to the many imagestucked away in your brain.But fast forward to spring, and with the warm weather, women are sheddingtheir heavy winter coats and sweatersand starting to show more skin.You see them everywhere on the way to and from work,and on the train one day you see a womanin a tight shirt and short skirt sitting across from you.You instantly imagine her sucking you off in the church boiler room,but just as fast you look away and prayto god for strength. But, fuck, man, they're everywhere.You start to notice the models in the clothing ads in the Sunday paper.The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue appears in the office break room.You turn on the TV to watch a boxing match,but the first thing you seeis women's beach volleyball. Your wife,who has been having a good old timesince you started paying a little attention to her,starts getting the Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail.You take your kids to the pool,and you can't help but seethe hot, 22 year old lifeguardand her friends. FUCK FUCK FUCK!Once again you pray,pray to god to deliver you from sin,but goddammit, you ARE a man......See you in line soon at the 7-11, you beatoff. And jesus will too.
I am happy to announce that after this glorious day of healing, every Sunday from now on will be Porn Sunday here at The Dude Minds. Praise the lord!
