July 05, 2005
c'MoN DuDes, jOIn ThE aRMy!
"The Army gives you a chance to see life.....you're secure. You have food. You have shelter. You have a paycheck."
The story, which reads as if it were written by a goddamned military recruiter, continues with a soldier who wants to return to Iraq and jump out of airplanes EVEN THOUGH HE GOT PART OF HIS FUCKING LEG BLOWN OFF last year.
"It's my life. It's where I need to be."
The Sun-Times has to keep it cool, but the message is clear: "Hear that, you shiftless no skills part-time job having mid-20s no future sacks of shit? You won't even join, and this hardcore motherfucker with one leg is going back to defend freedom while you sit around on your candy asses playing video games and think about fucking his girlfriend. If you were any kind of man, you would run right down to the mall and sign up, you faggot."
The article ends with a short paragraph about pussies who "even try to get out of their original service commitments". The paper should have been required to put "Advertisement" at the top of this blatant piece of propaganda. Jesus fucking christ in a foxhole.
Could it be, I sometimes wonder silently, that they don't want their own cannon-fodder-age and near-cannon-fodder age kids to sign up for the cluster-fuck for which they themselves have reflexively voted? Well, I needed wonder no more. One Republican-- who is really a nice guy, but who I think votes Republican because of the gay-baiting-- actually said that he doesn't want his son getting involved in that mess.
Now, sure, I'm guessing that there are a few of these high-falutin' lunch pail Repubs who would happily encourage their children to pass through the fire-- one such hyper-macho, chain-smoking, alcoholic, adultering gay-basher comes to mind-- but I have to believe that such gilded, souped-up, kool-aid-guzzling ignorance is relatively rare, even within our less-than-enlightened profession.
Anyway, have you noticed how none of the Bushies have directly asked their constituents to run out and sign up? Could it be that when there was another unnecessary war that needed warm bodies, they all found ways out of it?