July 30, 2005



Last year, one of the big stories around these parts was how young(er) upstart Melissa Bean defeated the elderly 17-term Republican Phil Crane for the 8th Congressional District seat. Word was that old Phil was so upset he refused to make the obligatory call to congratulate her after the results were in. Well goddamn, I'll bet this week he sent Melissa a big fucking bouquet of flowers and then invited her over for dinner after hearing that she voted yes to CAFTA like a good little Bush Democrat.

I'm sure the residents of the predominately Republican 8th District are also fucking overjoyed; after all, she defended her vote by stating, "My primary responsibility is to support the interests of my constituents.....they will benefit from CAFTA." It really should be no surprise--on her campaign website she came right out and told us what a pro-business company twat she really was by saying, "Admittedly, I am not a career politician. My background is in the high tech industry--with over 20 years in corporate management and as a business owner.....we can open new foreign markets and stimulate domestic job growth."


"Fuck you, working America!"

Despite this, she received endorsements from 11 labor organizations who are now pissed as all fuck and are already putting the word out on her. You know that crusty fucker Crane is beside himself with glee, licking his quivering lips and thinking about getting back in for a coupla two t'ree more terms before he goes teats up. Don't worry Melissa--you've proven yourself loyal, and if it ever comes about there will be a spot waiting for you in Hillary's corporate-friendly administration.

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